calling

sun is there to light me

melody of air and smoke

in and out my lungs

the pills tried

and failed to make me fit

for eight hours of behaving

no longer twist my mind up

into the hand that carries your platters

or edit these words

into the ones that excuse you

instead it and they

will be my livelihood

come what may

destitution a privilege

for those who earn it

neath salmon skies

on a may 27 2:53 AM
again, fuck vermont and its eternal freezing winds

though i'm writing on a candlelit porch
that i'll kiss goodbye later this week
and earlier found the fun of unlikely friends
painted, and have an unfinished cover
calling for the dawn
okay vermont 
i like you

but i'm still goddamn leaving

you'll be here
you always are

knayte and amy's III

light rain begins 
like tentative tears
i smoke on their roof
ominous echo and the bunnymen
and bloody marys 
are church this week

kissit was seeing the spirit world
so thick in your house
i said teach me kitty
knayte said are you sure 
i said yes without a blink
and climbed backwards out the window 

inverted seasons

skating in the wet spring wind
wonder about my inverted seasons past

deep endless winters from which sprang
songs of red love and flashing mortality
faces lighted full
in stoplight snowbank glare
and seeing them complete

then the furrowed summers lasting years
all the words held under stifled tears
to drown
the specters wrapped in hot thunderclouds
at my shoulder always

seeing me now in quiet between i think
maybe i have a pair of shades for the glare
a breath to blow the cloud away
and i ask what kind of person 
expects to survive
who cannot withstand seasons

shotclock

finally got the ball rolling

and i can't drop the ball

and the ball is slick with sweat

and there are more opponents than teammates

and our jerseys are so close to the same color

and they'd rather die than see me down the court

and i feel like this could be that glorious shot

and i don't even like basketball

at play

play is a main muse of mine
til the belly hurts
let the laughing cry 
and the weeping laugh
then finally, fluent in both 
free to choose 
which to use

or just sing
sadlaugh simultaneous
all in this song 
all in this day
laughable life
like child at play

00

truck motor go by on state
you can't take my heart
tuesday AM just gettin coffee before work

followed faded sidewalk arrows
around the two square blocks
just leading back into each other
for a good while

quaint hamlet trying so hard to keep me
but i'm not yours
or mine for that matter

arliss nancy knows
hit the fuckin road

clotheslined

strung out on this line of lines
suspended by words of the sky
through the center of the forehead

push and pull me breezing
i'm drying out and
soon you can wear me

depression era

actually a couple dollars in my pocket
and i don't need a damn thing
let it sit

guess that's what you learn
from licking the jars
and smoking old stogies you have found

it all comes down to nothing
and it all comes back around

housecooling party

billy joel brunch
on a stolen saturday
find lacey loving illegible notes
from dearest friends
in the back of my book

colin apparently leaped
from roof to roof 
but i'd already checked out

so many empties
my gold boot is missing
and today basking on springtime sun porch
the beat goes on

just spring petals spinning

wind chimes ring
pink petals of spring
spiral on sun breeze
around the lot on a smokebreak

seeing it's not possible
to miss your ride
when you have the keys

feet upon the earth 
there are no rugs
to be pulled out from under

defeat

i give up and 
i give in
difficulty
you fucking win

steal another dawning day
leave me crying in my haze
in the windowless room
no view of blossoming trees

to only feel their dreams 
float from the flowers
and away
those of today
gone forever

returning

saturn came back and she brought the beat
now before food and before sleep
whiskey, smokes 
or lovers' leaps
my first sustenance is her beat

career/skating

pushing hard
wheels heating
sun beating
fine tuning my ankle's anchor
on the board moving
and push 
and push 

one leg hold steady 
other, push and push
rest of the limbs
learning to loosen to
grow the velocity

finally, plant that pushing foot
we must be flying now
stand up and enjoy a speeding coast

but broken paving here
is so rough
I'm back to still in seconds
wondering, why the wasted exertion

arrive at work to clock in
guess it was just exercise 

hank's light

not gonna follow that road down 
why see the bottom of the bottle
if it can stay half full

someone's doubts about me 
go one direction 
a gutter
decades of fuzz
followed by a pedestrian death

much more boring than seeing that light
on repeat

the singularity

this morning my soul is 
a chirping cloud of
perfectly synchronized
robot birds
that no man directs

shootout

how many bullets can I take 
seems to be the question of the day

take your absent tears
take the regrets 
take your fading memory of youth
your conscious, repeated daily mistakes

form them into your little bullets
fire them all into me 
see how long I stay standing
just to pass the day

hope you enjoyed yourself

with the circus

fuckin hoops
and hoops and hoops and hoops and hoops
jumpin thru hoops

maybe i'll get some applause cause
it feels like quite a feat

doctor's orders

brain boomboxes 
begin to multiply
too many songs simultaneous

watered down post genres
bleed together 
into a din
can't hear the face before me
words inaudible under white noise

this is when the doctor orders
a shot or a guitar
or old fashioned 
solitude

the beat and cake

the beat is
so hard to keep on top of

meeting that
is all i want

think it's a metaphor?
that's fine

i just need the snare in time
the rest on top is icing

learn to make this cake
serve it when i can
watch the faces taste it
morning, scrub the pan